National Novel Writing Month… The perfect time to cut through the excuses, sit down and write 50,000 words for a novel in 30 days.
It seems easy enough… I mean the past few years I have to battle with scheduling of sports and retail but I have made it. They haven’t been masterpieces but when day 30 hit - I made it.
This year I have been bombarded with distractions. I know, NaNoWriMo is the perfect time to fight through those distractions to do what you are passionate about. And here I am… unloading because I need to write 23,000 words in one week.
Well… a few days before NaNoWriMo started, my relationship with PG ended. Which is kind of funny since in October I was wondering when I would see him when NaNoWriMo was in full gear. Think a question and it will be answered.
So I went in to NaNoWriMo with my heart shattered and major depression. It’s been a month - I can admit it now. I can also say I am alright. He helped me regain hope and I could be me - silly, flirty, klutzy, wild little me. And maybe I helped him get to the next step he needed to be at in life.
Through the last month, especially the first week, I found out I have a lot of great friends. I knew it and they ended up proving it. I have a great group of friends. Plus, grew closer to some of them especially a few in my Red Hots (our little group of Wrimos - which is NaNoWriMo writers).
And it seems some people are taken out of your life so you can put more focus into yourself. Also in the last month a test I took for my doctor came out abnormal so now I, unhappily I want to note, get to take a more detailed test. It could be nothing. Just some abnormal cells or a fluke in the test. But of course I think… I worry… I ask questions. Don’t worry it’s not the liver. The liver is still fine as far as I know. The check up on the liver will be in February.
Third distraction, eye candy. I really didn’t expect one of them to come back but… baaaaaack. Eyes, why do they suck me in so bad. But I can get past it. Maybe it’s time to go to the eye candy board on pinterest.
But right now it is time to get back to the open document on my task bar and type away. Seven days left… about 23,000 words and that’s about 3,285 words a day.
Please over the next few days… or weeks, please don’t be alarmed if I seem not to care. This is me pulling back and going through the pain.
I ask of you to not speak his name.
We broke up. I am single.
But we weren’t suppose to become a couple. We didn’t set out to be. Just two people meeting to talk and if anything a friendship. But grew into more.
So much more.
I love him. I feel it in my blood. I feel it in my cells. Bloody hell. I do really want to hate him. I really do. But I care about him too much to hate him.
I knew with PG if anything happened it would take awhile to recover. My emotions were more heightened with him. I was happy when I was with him. I was happy when I thought about him. I would have random flashbacks while we were dating of memories. I enjoyed the time we spent together. I enjoyed talking to him. I would fight for him.
I didn’t just lose a boyfriend. I lost a best friend. And that is probably what kills the most.
It was rough when his car pulled away because the first person I wanted to call was him.
It is going to be hard. Not having him to share the little things with. Not spending the weekends with him. I miss him.
Please don’t say anything harsh about him. He didn’t do anything wrong. He needs to work on some stuff and I knew that when we were dating. I respect it then and I respect it now. If anything he gave me back hope, romance, and trust.
He says one day we will be friends. I do look forward to that day. I hope I am lucky enough to have him back as a friend. My movie chum. We will be back to where we were suppose to be. For now we need time away. I need to heal.
I hope this makes a little bit of sense. I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep. As a writer, it is easier for me to write it down even if it is three in the morning. I am sharing it because I really don’t want any harsh feelings towards him.
Those who are close know. Don’t get offended if you didn’t find out after it happened. I appreciate and thank all of you for being there for me.
"It’s a new dawn. It’s a new day. It’s a new life for me. And I’m feeling…" Sorry Michael Buble, I can’t finish that with I am feeling good.
The clock said 5:30 a.m. – the numbers mocking me as I tried to roll over and get back to sleep for just a little longer.
But it was too late – my mind was already awake. It was thinking.
I tend to over think when the thoughts begin and there is really no reason to it. But I know it has been awhile since my last update – since of course the purpose of this was for weight loss and here I am maintaining weight.
Here is what kick started the thinking – a. upcoming birthday and b. hormones (if you are a female you understand.)
A few months ago I was excited for the end of September – a day to celebrate my birth. But as always when the day gets closer I begin reflecting on the last year. Most of the times things haven’t really changed but this year… this year a lot change.
Last year’s birthday I couldn’t have any sweets… or fat for that matter since I was on restrictions on my nutrition plan. I was also covering a football game. Now a year later I don’t crave sweets but I am looking forward to having cheesecake for my birthday.
Today I am on maintenance for eating - as in I am maintaining the weight I was the last day on the plan. While many still call it dieting – I am not. Dieting to me means extreme measures and the word “die” is in the word. I have changed my eating habits. I don’t eat a lot of sugar. I don’t eat as many carbs as I used to. I think healthy. (Unless of course I waited too long to eat and then thinking bad but don’t go off the edge too much.) I have come a long way with 90 pounds in weight lost. When you come that long – you watch yourself. You might be bad but it isn’t a whole day binge it is a “I will have half a pretzel” kind of binge. I will have a 1/12 of a dark chocolate bar binge. You get the point.
Okay so sometimes I feel like a freak because I avoid certain places because they don’t really have anything for me. But everyone seems to understand and don’t treat me like a freak – just someone making sure the weight doesn’t come back.
Along the weight loss I felt as if I was coming out more like the weight was hiding me. Or maybe I was letting the fat hide my true self. I know I was hiding in sweatshirts and jackets just to hide the fat. As if wearing big sweatshirts could hide it.
I also found myself not running to food for comfort but stopping and facing why I feel a certain way and overthing way too much. Is my blood sugar low? Am I tired? Am I pmsing?
It probably helps since during the year I also started dating a really great guy. I will just refer to him as PG.
You know, I always worried about my crazy sports and work schedule. But I felt and I knew if the right guy came along I would find a way to see him. And I have. Even since he has a crazy work schedule, too. Third shift.
We have made it work. I miss him when we are both working and when I am with him I cherish every minute.
I feel lucky to have him in my life. He also brings out the romantic in me. He gives me hope and so much more I can’t put into words.
No offense but that’s all going to say about PG. I want to shout to the world about him but I also want to some aspects to myself because not everyone needs to know everything. Just I do.
I share little things like had a great weekend with my boyfriend. (Still gives me a little tingle when I say it. It still gives me a tingle remembering the first time he said it.) But I am not one to post everything. I also don’t tag him in photos. I leave it up to him if he wants to tag himself.
If you don’t know I work two jobs – one with the newspaper for six years and the second with another company for 14 years. The second job, the longest, gossip gets around quick. I learned with my last relationship and how bad it ended how quickly word gets around.
Also, within the last year I have stepped into a new role for National Novel Writing Month. I am a co-Municipal Liasion for my home region. Basically guide the Wrimos during their quest to the 50,000 words destination. Plus, set up write-ins, fun prizes, give leadership, etc. This year for NaNoWriMo working on an idea since I have had since 2012 – I have worked on it here and there. This year I will really put the focus on it. I did start it but a few plot points have changed so I am starting over and using the other pieces as an outline. This year it is all or nothing.
I am also feeling a little nervous this week – it stems from getting older (thinking where have I been to where am I going?) and also MPA Better Newspaper results come out around this time. A part of me doesn’t care and knows better than to be thinking about it. I mean it’s the same with anything in life – whatever happens, happens. But… I will just leave it right there. There is no reason to continue to think about it and wonder if this year I broke into the photo category – more so than last year’s “Honorable Mention” (which was a nice pat on the back).
There are many metaphors for NaNoWriMo: NaNoWriMo is a creative explosion, an endurance test, a writing party, a voyage to fantastical lands, an excuse to drink too much coffee.
I like all of those metaphors, but the one that speaks most to me is that NaNoWriMo is a creative experiment. NaNo’s very genesis was a creative experiment, after all. How do you write a novel? Try writing 50,000 words in 30 days.
There are always grounds to experiment within an experiment, though, so my question each year is what can I tweak, or downright alter, about my creative process? That’s why I read Daily Rituals: How Artists Work. The book tells the story of how 161 creators—everyone from Stephen King to Maya Angelou to Charles Darwin—approach the act of creativity each day.
When I wanted to lose weight I chose several goals and rewards when I reached those goals. It’s easier to have something to run towards when you can visualize the destination.
At first it was small rewards like new jeans, new shirt but it really didn’t motivate me.
So I thought big. I set two goals many many pounds ago. My first goal would take the longest to get to. When I went down to 200 pounds I could get my second tattoo. My first tattoo was in 2001 and it is true once you get inked the first time, you want to get another one. Obviously I am taking my sweet time mostly because I have many options. It is just narrowing it down to the “one.” I reached my goal… still waiting to cash in the tattoo reward.
The second goal I am a few pounds of meeting which is good. The reward is a huge reward. A trip to Ireland. Ooooooooooooooh, a trip to Ireland. Stopping by a pub in Dublin, visiting a little village, exploring castles and venturing the land. Visit the land of my ancestors. I do feel like I am getting a dreamy look in my eye. Plus, haven’t you seen the movies American girl goes to Ireland meets cute Irish boy.
Maybe time to set new goal for the reward since the vacation I have is going to California this year. Maybe set it is as workout x amount a month or drop those few stubborn pounds plus a little more. (Just a little more… just a tad.) I mean technically I haven’t reached the goal yet so I still have time to save. I pretty much know the cost. Once in a while I will pop a few dates into Expedia or receive an email about packages. And definitely set for vacation days and I know the best time for me to go.
The vision is there. Just have to get there.
If you would like to donate to send Redhead Reporter to Ireland fund - let me know. =D
It’s been awhile since the last update. A long… long… long while.
Last update was November and battling my way through writing 50,000 word novel in 30 days. I made it. It is not a complete novel. It needs a lot more work not just editing but finishing. But it’s done.
So let’s speed ahead to where I am now.
I started this nutrition plan June of 2012, at an unhappy-can’t-believe-I-am-254-pounds. I started maintenance May 14 at I-can’t-believe-I-did-it-163-pounds.
I know I was the one on the plan. I was the one eating two days worth of fat in the first phase and then taking the plunge and surviving phase two. But I give a lot of credit to Cindy at Nuview Nutrition. She was a big motivator. I also had a good support system - family, friends, coworkers even coaches. It was and continues to be a great boost. Even though I am on a maintenance a nudge of good job keeps me going on a bad day.
Yes, some people didn’t understand the plan and would try to push food on me. “Oh, a little bite wouldn’t hurt.” Nope, it’s not allowed. I have come this far. I can’t have it. I will not have it. Not too mention I don’t want it.
Leading to - I don’t have the mad sugar cravings. I mean coffee and almonds have probably replaced the previous sugar addiction but I don’t want sugar. It doesn’t mean I don’t have a few cravings. But they go away and it is easier to say no. Actually if I smell too much sugar I feel a little sick.
So here I am… down to 163 pounds. The lowest I can remember.
I feel changed. But I feel the same like I had a thin version fighting to get out. An energized being trying to get out but the grease, fat and sugar weighed her down.
I can tell you what it feels like - it feels 90 pounds lifted off my shoulders (thighs, stomach, arms, etc.)
Okay… back to making changes to NaNoWriMo Novel 2010. I have a goal to make changes already made so can do a fresh edit on airplane in a month.